Happy Campers

You may or may not remember last year's Trip to the Mountains.  We wanted to camp overnight at Big Basin, but we ended up packing up at 11pm and heading home with our screaming mad daughter and completely disappointed boys.  It was time to attempt real camping again (more than a mere trip to the mountains), so last weekend we headed to the same spot for a one night stay.

I should mention that we camped with different friends. You know, ones who didn't exactly know what they might be getting themselves into (since last year our dear friends ended up taking down our tent and mattresses for us in the morning when we ditched them in the middle of the night after waking them with our unhappy camper).

I am pleased to report that we had a wonderful time camping! As soon as we arrived, Hayden was off rolling around (yes, literally) in the dirt, Caleb was finding all the previous campers' lost toys in the creek, and Avery and our 5 year old friend, Mia, were doing puppet shows using sticks and leaves as puppets.  We hiked a short distance through the redwoods, cooked our dinner over the fire, and enjoyed s'mores. Mia (who is Japanese-Mexican-American) was excited to participate for the first time in the American s'mores tradition, although I think our sweet toothed American children were even more excited.

Before long the kids said they were ready for bed.  It wasn't very late, but they were looking forward to sleeping in their sleeping bags in the tent.  After a realllllllllllly long time with lots of giggling and silliness, and after Daddy singing "Beauty and the Beast," and after Mommy offering a quarter to the first child to fall asleep, the kids finally went to sleep.  Avery woke up a few times during the night, but I helped her to get comfortable and she went back to bed each time.  No screaming, no anger. What a difference a year makes!

Success! We came home the next day tired, happy, and with a few mosquito bites. Can't wait to do it again! Our next goal is to survive camping for two nights.

Sickening

Here I am, hoping that I have the self-control to make it through the day without eating too much.

There in Somalia are mothers my age hoping to make it through the day without any of their children dying of starvation.

So so sad.

Soul Sista, part I

Back again to blog. Over the past few years, in the midst of moving to two different states, I've thought a fair amount about friendship.  And I want to start off what will hopefully become a series of posts by telling about a girl named Lizzie.

In the fall of 2002, I did a social work internship at a residential treatment center for adolescent girls. A majority of these girls have suffered abuse or neglect in their short lives, and they are dealing with a myriad of issues. One day a new resident arrived and she was assigned to the social worker that I was shadowing for the week.  The social worker and I were the first to welcome 14 year old Lizzie to her new, temporary home, and I had the opportunity to show her to her room and spend a few minutes getting to know her.

Lizzie was quite personable with me and, as she unpacked her brown paper grocery bag with personal items, she was eager to show me some of her valuables.  She showed me her poetry in her notebook, and proudly read aloud from her book to demonstrate how well she could read.  Lizzie said she wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up.  And she said she was terrified of deer- which were common in her new surroundings, but something she'd never seen before, having lived in the city. She didn't tell me (though later I read it in her file) that she ended up in a residential placement after being neglected by her adoptive mother at a young age, that she had been living on the streets for most of the past two years, and that she got busted for propositioning an undercover officer for sex.  But Lizzie did tell me that she is scared of thunder and other loud noises because it reminds her of when she recently witnessed her boyfriend being shot in the face.

After about 15 minutes of chatting with Lizzie, she put her arm around me and said something to the effect of, "I really like you. Me and you- we are soul sista's!"

Soul Sisters?! It was hard to refrain from both laughing and crying the moment when Lizzie said that to me.  I mean, really, few things are more absurd than to think that this girl, who in actuality had nothing in common with me, was my soul sister.  And it broke my heart to think that it only took 15 minutes of me listening to her in a genuine and accepting way, for her to conclude that we had a special bond.  Yes, Lizzie had boundary issues, for sure.  But when was the last time someone simply sat and listened to Lizzie, without some kind of agenda?

Lizzie and I got off to a great start, and it was true that we did form a special bond that day.  Over the next few weeks, there were a few instances at the RTC where Lizzie was having a hard time and getting into trouble and I was the only person to whom she was willing to talk or listen.  Soon, though, my internship ended, and I was worried that Lizzie wasn't going to make it there, that she would need an even higher level of care.  Of course I don't know what ever happened to her after I left.  I do still think about Lizzie from time to time.  And since that day I've thought about what it means to be or have a soul sister in a new light.

Plunging into Pet Ownership

Okay, okay- thanks to Bethi and others for the encouragement to get my butt back into blogging mode.  Actually, it's too soon to say that I am in a "mode"- but hey, one post at a time, right?

I'm starting with the easy news:  We now have two pet kittens, Ladybug and Lightning [Bug].  They are sisters and litter-mates, about 3 months old.  I've been going back and forth on pets for quite sometime now (Remember Dogs on the Brain?), and figured I could continue oscillating forever on this issue. So when I saw the "2 for 1" deal at the humane society for the kitten adoption fee, I decided now was the time.  Matt graciously went along with it.  What can I say? He loves me.

Ladybug has got to be one of the sweetest, friendliest kittens ever.  Just the fact that she still wants to show her face in this house after almost a week of being terrorized loved on by the kids is a testament to that. She follows us around the house, is always happy to be cuddled, and loves to play. Lightning is much more reserved and likes her own space.  It hasn't helped that a few days ago she developed a cold.  She's been sneezing a lot and now has quite a bit of eye discharge (still clear). Hopefully we can avoid a trip to the vet.  It's been fun to watch the kittens play and wrestle together (when Lightning is feeling up to it), as well as take naps together, and groom each other.  Cuteness!

Logistically, bringing the kittens home has been pretty simple so far. The girls have used the litter box perfectly from the start, and have also taken to their scratching posts very nicely. They have not yet tried to play with or bite our hands or ankles, not even once.  At night we close them off in the kitchen, and we've never been bothered by them during the night.  We have removed one set of dried grasses that we had displayed, since it was an obvious cat magnet for chewing and playing, and we used some spray to keep the kittens away from our drapes.  They were attracted to the drapes swaying in the breeze and this was quickly becoming a problem, as the drapes already have a bunch of tiny claw-size holes in the bottom.

The toughest parts so far have been 1) teaching the kittens to stay off the kitchen table (they sure seem to be attracted by the smell of food) 2) keeping the kittens out of the kids rooms while the kids are falling asleep (since the kids insist on open doors) and 3) the added stress of having our family equilibrium disrupted by making such a big change.

Assuming you promise not to contact PETA after reading this post, I will expound a bit on point #3, so that when the time comes when YOU want to bring an animal into your house to join your small children, you can be fully warned! Basically, the past week has been stressful for me because I've been supervising a) my own kids, b) the kittens, and c) the kids interacting with the kittens.  "A" by itself is enough to drive me crazy much of the time, but "C" really takes the cake.  I've got a 2 year old that can't seem to recognize the difference between a kitten's belly and it's neck ("If your hands are touching the kitten's collar when you are carrying her, you are holding her in the wrong spot."), a 4 year old that is set on experimenting with the all different possible ways to play with and carry a cat (including several that you've probably never seen before), and a 6 year old that it so worried about the 2 year old and 4 year old with the kittens that at times he wishes we had never even brought the kittens home.  Meanwhile, I am worried about helping the kittens transition ok into their new surrounding. Ha! You can probably see why I've felt stressed throughout the week, and if Mama is stressed, the rest of the family tends to feel stressed.

So there's your glimpse into our experience with bringing home kittens.  Fun, but stressful.  Then again, that's how it almost always feels around here. =) Below are a few video clips from this week.  FYI, Avery is on the phone with Grampa & Gramma.

My Eyes

Are Fine! I still have 20/20 vision, and all the optometrist could recommend to me are "computer glasses."  I guess they are .5 strength (I don't even know if that's the proper term), compared to the mildest type of drugstore reading glasses, which are 1.0 strength.  The computer glasses are intended to do some of the work helping my eyes to focus so that my eyes don't have to work so hard to do it.  Unfortunately these require a prescription, and since we don't currently have a vision plan with our insurance, I need to decide if the cost of the glasses is worth it to me. Any thoughts or insights?

More Randomness

I'm assuming that my last post really left you craving to hear me talk about myself more (joking). But, alas, a few thoughts to share, in no particular order:

I recently realized that every time I toss something sizable into the recycling bin, I find myself thinking about what kind of an art project I could have done incorporating that recyclable. From time to time I go on kicks where I actually DO save the recyclables for future projects, yet somehow I typically end up with a pile of junk that clutters the house for awhile before going right back to the recycle bin. Hmmm.

Just finished reading The Good Daughter by Jasmin Darsnik.  The subtitle is "A Memoir of My Mother's Hidden Life." Great book!  I love memoirs. I happened to pick it up in Barnes & Noble, never having heard of it before, and it turns out the author currently lives in Charlottesville VA (where we used to live), and grew up in San Francisco (not far from us now).

Tomorrow I go for an eye exam, as I've been getting headaches after a short time on the computer or reading books, my eyes have been aching, and a few other eye-related complaints. I suppose I should do a follow up post to let you all know the outcome!

I am about to embark on a project that I've been wanting to do for quite some time: sew cloth napkins for Caleb & Hayden's classmates.  I'm hoping to have them done in time to give as gifts for Earth Day. I know more or less how to use my sewing machine, but I'm not very confident in it yet, particularly when it comes to troubleshooting.

For Lent I plan to fast in the afternoons.  I suppose it's not so much a fast as it is "giving up snacking,"  but the purpose is the same.  When I snack in the afternoons I am particularly prone to emotional eating in addition to trying to satisfy a bit of hunger (since my highest levels of stress usually occur that time of day- I think you SAHMs know what I'm talking about!).  I think it will be good for me to remember what it's like to be somewhat hungry for a few hours each day, plus a good time to focus on strength and coping through God, not food.

After spending an increasing amount of time scrubbing the bathrooms, and watching the boys scrub the bathrooms as well, I've decided that anybody with boys should really consider a Potty Shield (http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Boy-Potty-Shield.html) or something like it.  While I wouldn't want to completely embarass my kids concerning our bathroom situation, suffice it to say that I am perplexed as to how one's aim actually deteriorates with age.  (Oh wait, let's be clear, I'm NOT talking about Matt-- really! I guess there is hope that after a point things will improve with the boys.) I can't bring myself to actually buy a potty shield at this point, but I'm keeping the idea tucked away in case I get really desperate.  And now that I've shared this, you'll probably never want to come stay with us within the next 12 years. =(
 
And on a more positive, less disgusting note to try to help you recover from the previous paragraph, I will share with you something Avery said today.  She heard Caleb and Hayden doing something in another room and she said, "What's that noise?" (A question she asks all the time.) I responded, "Hmmm, what's that noise?" Avery answered, "It's my boys!"  Cute. She really loves them!

Another Glimpse

Once again, regular blogging has fallen by the wayside! I am making no New Year resolution to blog more, but here I am trying to start off the new year right, as far as blogging is concerned, anyway. [Hmm, that concerted effort didn't last very long, considering that I began drafting this post on 1/7/11, and now it is 2/25 and I'm just now getting around to finishing and posting...]

Here's a summary of things in the Eubanks household of late:

Caleb: I think it's safe to say that pretty much his whole world revolves around Star Wars now. I've already been interrupted in writing this post, as I was asked to google what the stormtroopers' ships look like.  (Thank you, Wookieepedia!) I don't expect you to believe me, but Caleb has only seen 10 minutes of one of the original Star Wars movies. And yet he knows more about Star Wars than I will ever care to know, thanks to Google searches and his loving Daddy who patiently answers every question fielded to him day after day. 

I gave Caleb a haircut the other day and he requested that I cut it like Luke Skywalker's.

Yesterday Caleb brought home a page of sentences he wrote at school, where the assignment was to write sentences using the words "is in a pot."   "A stormtrooper is in a pot.  Obi Wan is in a pot. IG-88 is in a pot. Yoda is in a pot. Palpatine (yes, he spelled it perfectly) is in a pot. All of the Sith Lords are in a pot."

And if you are wondering whatever happened to Caleb's imaginary friend Jorge... well, he's still around, but with a new name: Luke!

Hayden: Hayden is also interested in Star Wars, but he is fuzzier on the details compared to Caleb. He's mostly attracted to the lightsabers, guns, and the powerful bad guys.  (It's such a reminder that boys are wired differently than girls. Because I don't get his fascination. At all.)
Now that Hayden is in preschool he is being invited to more birthday parties, and I just love how he cherishes every invitation he receives.  He carries them everywhere- taking them to bed, bringing them along on errands, etc. It's fun to see him forming his own friendships that are independent of Caleb's friends and their sibilings.

Even though it's the middle of winter, Hayden's flip flops are still glued to his feet.  I was determined that he would live one week without them while we were in Buffalo, but even while we were there and the temperature was in the 20's he was still inquiring about his beloved sandals.  I have had to hide away Hayden's shorts to put an end to our daily battles discussions about dressing appropriately for the weather.  I just know it- someday Hayden is going to be one of those sweaty, stinky teenage boys that always wears shorts no matter how cold the temperatures.

Avery:  Avery is in a phase where she changes her outfits about five times each day.  She is still reluctant to let me put any accessories in her hair, but every once in awhile she says, "I want a horsey," which means she'd like a ponytail.  Dresses are a no-go.

Avery does a good job of keeping tabs on her brothers: "Ah-dee [Hayden]!! Come over here, Ah-dee!"  Recently when I was putting her to bed, she heard Hayden start crying and she said, "Ah-dee crying. Cayco [Caleb] did it." That sounds about right.

Probably the most momentous event in Avery's recent life is her decision to use the toilet.  I had no intention of potty training until mid-February, but in mid-January Avery decided she wanted to wear underwear.  She had one or two accidents in the first few days, and has done almost perfectly ever since.  Amazing! (Though I should mention that back in September she had a brief stint with demanding to wear underwear for a few weeks.  So she was well practiced with using the toilet prior to January when she decided she was serious about no more diapers. Last time she regressed, but this time it's the real deal.)

Matt:  Matt is always up to something cool, I think.  He's been working a lot in the garage to get it organized, building shelves, etc.  He just did a fantastic job adding a backsplash in our kitchen.  He is toying with the idea of selling his Civic GX (runs on natural gas) when gas prices hit a high this summer-- he'll probably make a nice profit on the car!  And Matt is preparing to teach a marketing class online for Houghton's PACE program.  (A quick backstory to the marketing class:  One night recently, Matt and I were talking about his experience as a business major at Houghton, comparing it to Darden, etc, etc.  I made the comment, "Maybe it's time to try to help out Houghton in regards to their business department." Then we turned out the lights and went to bed. The next morning, Matt checked his email first thing and he had a message from a Houghton professor asking if he'd be interested in teaching this class. Divine timing, it seems!)

Me:  The negative part of Avery's potty training is that I am forced to face my phobia of public restrooms. Really, I'm feeling sick just writing about it. I HATE public restrooms.  And I wouldn't mind passing this phobia on to my kids, quite frankly. I admit, I have been heard in a stall saying things like, "Are you sure you just can't just hold it? Wouldn't it be so much better to poop at home? Hold on to me-- do NOT touch the toilet.  This is dirty, yucky. Oh my gosh, we're going to die!" Just kidding about the last one. I haven't said that out loud yet. It's one thing to take a boy to pee in a public RR, but taking a girl is a million times worse.  We have a fold-up potty in our car that I will keep in there for years to come. Probably the best $20 I ever spent.


On a more positive note, I am spending more time reading in the evenings. I had really gotten away from it, (aside from parenting books, which I tend to pick up when I feel like a failure as a parent) for quite some time.  I would also like to get back to learning how to use my sewing machine. I learned a bit over the summer when my mom was visiting, but I've been kind of scared to try to use it on my own.  The problem is that I keep inventing projects that involve some sewing.

I think those are the highlights from our crew! I'll try to do another blog post while it's still 2011. ;)

Riting Haz Nevr Bin Funr

I am LOVING the stage Caleb is in right now, where he is writing words according to the sounds he hears, but with little knowledge of advanced phonics. It's so cute to see him writing this way, especially when it is combined with his inexperience with writing in straight lines and using spaces between words.

Below is the cover of the Darth Vader story he wrote the other night.

In case you can't read it, it says, "Star Wars" "Drth Vatrs Gerat Ivenchrs" "The athr is Caleb and its ilastratid by Caleb Eubaks".  I thought I would share the story he wrote here too-- not so much because I think you all care as much as I do, but because I know the likelihood of his book being ripped, spilled on, or otherwise destroyed before I have the chance to sneak it into Caleb's keepsake box without him missing his book.  The story is rather long for a 5 year old (I think), so Caleb dictated it for me to write down in his book.  Each page has an illustration in a similar style to the one on his cover.  I think Caleb's attitude toward drawing is, "I already know that is a tree, so why should I go to the effort of making it look like a tree?" =)

Here is the story of Drth Vatrs Gerat Ivenchrs:

(page 1) Darth Vader is trying to get Luke Skywalker's attention, but he can't because Luke is fighting the red guys.  And then the white guys came and they got in trouble by the Emperor. And the white guys went to prison.

(page 2) While the white guys were in prison, the Emperor was walking around checking them in their cage. And one of the guys escaped. Then Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker came out to fight while they were looking for the guy who escaped.

(page 3) They finally found the guy that escaped. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were tired, so they had to go to prison too, like the guy went back.

(page 4) The four heads: The first one on the left is Darth Vader. The second one is Luke Skywalker. The third one is the guy. The fourth one is the Emperor. The square below the Emperor is where the light saber is hiding.

(page 5) Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were tired of being in prison. They were trying to get the light saber. Luke Skywalker finally got out and he almost got the light saber until the Emperor came. Then the Emperor put Luke Skywalker back in his cage.

(page 6) Luke Skywalker had a big wall so he couldn't see anything this time.

(page 7) Darth Vader got out of his prison and he put his head in FIRE! The oven made the fire hot.

(page 8) Then Darth Vader went to the helmet store and that's when he got his helmet.

Thanks for reading!

Crossing Over to the Dark Side

I don't even know how to begin, but if I tell you about Hayden's Halloween costumes from last year and this year, you'll probably quickly see where I am going with this.  Last Halloween, I felt like my boys were the sweetest, cutest, most innocent little brothers and pals trick-or-treating in the neighborhood.  Caleb had his heart set on being a UPS delivery man, and Hayden eagerly joined in by choosing to be a Fed-Ex delivery man.  Their costumes were cheap, homemade, and did I mention how cute they looked together?  I have to say, I was quite proud.

This year, Caleb isn't too sure of his Halloween costume plans, but Hayden, now 3.5, talks constantly about Darth Vader. He noticed other kids with Star Wars backpacks and the Star Wars toys at Target and started asking about the bad guy with the black helmet. We told him who Darth Vader was and showed him a few short clips from one of the movies.  Hayden is hooked!

Previously I shared about Hayden's fascination with power and good guys vs. bad guys, like with Buzz Lightyear and Zurg.  These days Hayden hardly talks about Zurg; instead it's all about Darth ("Dark") Vader, the "white guys", the "red guys", and the Emperor.  And along with this goes a growing interest in light sabers and guns ("shooters"). 

Yes, guns.  I have heard stories about how little boys-- even in the most faithful of Mennonite families =)-- can make a gun out of anything.  And now I have witnessed it with  my own eyes.  Hayden came home from his second day of preschool with some artwork that had small colored construction paper circle cut-outs glued to a white background.  Hayden had one yellow circle that was labeled as a sun, and three blue circles that were labeled as shooters.  My kid imagined a gun from a circle piece of paper!

I should add that I know everybody has different opinions about toy guns, and real guns, for that matter. And I fall toward the extreme side of being against them. =) So it has been a little hard for me to accept that my boys are pretty normal. I was really hoping they weren't!

Anyway, I feel like some innoncence has been lost over the past year, but I am trying to keep things in perspective.  This is a normal phase, preschool boys are just fascinated with power, control, and good vs. evil.  My kids are not doomed for a life that involves a semi-automatic weapon collection displayed over a mantle.  They won't be set on killing or imprisoning everyone who disagrees with them. 

There have been some positive things coming out of this new phase. Lots of good conversations, chances to explore feelings and beliefs.  The boys have even written and illustrated their own Darth Vader books. (I will probably post Caleb's sometime.)  I try to remind them-- without nagging-- that in real life, all people do good things and all people do bad things.

I will probably buy Hayden a Darth Vader costume for Halloween this year, mostly since I found one at Walmart.com for only $12. Part of me doesn't want to buy it and encourage it, but another part of me can swallow my pride and handle it.  A third part of me keeps whispering, "It's only $12!!"  I'll be sure to post pictures ;)

Dogs on the Brain

The last few weeks I've found myself daydreaming more and more about getting a dog.  We don't have any pets right now, and they haven't really been on the radar for our family.  Matt and I have discussed the possibility of a dog when the kids are older, but not for right now.  Nonetheless, I keep wishing for a cuddly little puppy to relax with us in the house, to play with the kids outside, etc. etc.  I have spent way too much time lately on the computer researching dog types and adoption possibilities.

What is wrong with me? I am trying to psychoanalyze myself on this one.  It's only because things around the house are getting a *little* bit easier that I would even consider a dog. Is this some biological desire to nurture? Am I looking for a substitute "baby" since we expect we are done having kids? Is it to make up for having Caleb gone at school all day? Or do I have this masochistic need for a constant rain of stress in my life?! Am I such a drama queen that I always need some excitement? Or do I really just want a dog for "normal" reasons-- whatever those are?  And is this feeling going to pass in a few weeks or do I really have the dog bug?

Weirdo.

Kindergarten Begins!

Today was Caleb's first official day of kindergarten. He only went for an hour, but who's counting? He was pretty apprehensive ahead of time, but when we picked him up and we asked him how he felt about his time at school he exclaimed, "I LOVED it!"  He is looking forward to Monday.

Our Peaceful Day

Yesterday was such an enjoyable day that I felt it was blog-worthy.  We all woke up. We ate breakfast.  Then, for the next 3 HOURS Caleb and Hayden played together nicely with a couple of toy cars.  There was no arguing, no fighting, no need for me to step in as referee.   They did things together, they did things separately.  They disagreed at times, but they compromised, negotiated, used their kind words.  I was planning to do an errand during the morning, but the boys were doing so well that I didn't dare interrupt them. I seriously stayed out of the way that whole time to make sure that my presence didn't somehow cause things to change. Avery and I had a nice time playing and working together. Did I mention that the boys played perfectly together for 3 HOURS?!  Consecutive hours!

Eventually Hayden lost interest in the cars and came to join Avery and me as we colored together.  We had lunch. Avery then took a nap, and the boys split up to do their quiet times. Caleb actually fell asleep, so Hayden and I then had some alone time to read together-- a rare treat.

After nap, we went to the mall to do my errand and to get ice-cream. It was Caleb's last day of summer vacation before starting kindergarten, and earlier in the day he said he would like to celebrate by getting icecream and going to the Honda dealer.  So we went to Coldstone and all got cotton candy icecream, yum! 

The kids resumed play at home with the same toy cars.  We ate dinner. We played. Hayden and Avery went to bed, and since Caleb had napped he was ready to stay up a bit later. He and Matt went to the Honda dealer together.  When they returned I heard all the juicy details about the cars on the lot. 

What a great day! Is it a coincidence that this happened the day before Caleb started kindergarten? I don't know.  For the past few weeks things have been a bit rough. I've felt pulled in 3 directions almost all the time. It seems like developmentally there were huge gaps between the kids this summer, especially Caleb compared to the younger two.  Last week we had our worst grocery trip ever, and I had to end the trip early.  I've been feeling guilty for looking forward so much to school starting! Hopefully there are more days like yesterday in our near future.  It was really nice to have peace in our home for so much of the day. 

Donut Drama

Summertime.  No preschool.  It's the time of year when I get to take three young children grocery shopping on a regular basis.

I'm pretty sure most moms would agree that grocery shopping with young children is rather stressful. Most of the time my kids behave just fine, but even then I'm stressed because I feel like it's a ticking time bomb. If we are in the store too long, something negative is bound to happen. So I race through the store, hoping I actually grab everything on my list, plus everything I forgot to put on my list, before trouble hits.

My summertime strategy when I have a large grocery trip with three kids in tow is bribery with junk food.  (What? Don't your parenting books recommend that, too?) If all goes well, our last stop is the donut case to get three donuts.  One for Caleb, one for Hayden, and one for Avery and me to share.  I eat my 1/2 donut to celebrate my survival, not just my good behavior.

This week Caleb asked to carry the donut bag, rather than putting it in the cart.  When we got to the checkout Caleb and I both forgot about putting the donut bag on the conveyor belt. We got home, I saw the bag in Caleb's hand and said, "Uh-oh, Caleb, did we pay for those?"

Poor Caleb was extremely distraught. I tried to reassure him that it's ok that we made a mistake, those things happen, etc.  I said, "Next time we go to the store we can tell the cashier that we would like to pay for 3 donuts" and then I saw his face and quickly added, "Or we can go back to the store now and pay for them. What would you like to do?"  He wanted to hop right back in the car and go pay ASAP. 

I convinced Caleb to let me put away our groceries before returning to the store.  In the mean time I gave Hayden and Avery their donuts to keep them occupied while I put away the food.  Caleb was quite concerned about that so I assured him that the people at the grocery store don't care when you eat the food, they just care that you pay for the food you take.  Not good enough for Caleb.  He kept his donut in the bag, even though he was probably hungry seeing as it was snack time.

Next I loaded up the gang into the car and we headed right back to the store.  Caleb was too ashamed to carry the bag, so he wanted me to hold it.  We paid our $1.77 for the donuts and left.  Then Caleb ate his donut in the car with a clean conscience.  He was still disturbed by the whole incident and said he was upset with himself for forgetting to put the bag on the belt. 

It was quite the morning! I was happy to see that Caleb was so committed to doing the right thing. But it was hard to see him beating himself up unnecessarily. Everybody makes mistakes, and in this case nobody got hurt and it was easy to make things right. And I'm sure it will be a loooooong time before we forget to pay for donuts again!
 

A Glimpse

Here is an update on life for each of the kids lately:

Caleb: still plays with his imaginary friend George Jeorge David Romney all the time. He is constantly asking to go out in the front yard so he can look at the cars that drive past our house or park near us.  He also looks forward to talking to Bob, our next door neighbor, whenever he's in the front yard.  Caleb is especially into Hondas, Chevys, and GMCs currently.  He pays close attention to cars' headlights and tail lights-- so much that he can look at a Honda's or Toyota's headlights and know what type of tail lights it has.  Caleb is excited about starting kindergarten, but was sad to learn that his preschool friend Michael was assigned a different teacher. Caleb has an increased interest in spelling and reading. Yesterday I overheard him on the phone saying to Grandpa, "Yeah, I'm standing near a big box. And by 'big' I mean b-i-g. And by 'box' I mean b-o-x."

Hayden: After all of Caleb's pressure to have an imaginary friend, Hayden has decided that he has an imaginary friend named Hayden.  Hayden (the real one, that is) loves riding his two-wheeled bike to the park and around the neighborhood. He often talks about wanting to play ping-pong in Grandma and Grandpa's basement. He loves ping-pong! He also asks everyday to go to the park to play basketball. And he loves soccer and football and baseball. See the theme here? Bob, the aforementioned neighbor, has invited us to swim in his pool every weekend, and Hayden is making great progress with swimming.  The first time we went over Hayden just sat along the edge, but now he swims around by himself (with floaties) and even jumps in the pool letting his head go under the water.

Avery: has developed an interest in TV.  She's always asking to watch Nemo, "McQueen" (Cars movie), or "And Beyond" (Toy Story). Can you tell she's the third child? Caleb had never seen a real movie when he was her age, and Avery has seen these movies enough to ask for them by name.  Avery loves to rough house with Hayden, jumping and climbing on him.  She loves to hug and kiss both Hayden and Caleb. Avery also loves to color and read. I've started putting accessories in her hair more regularly. Initially she fought and cried as soon as I started touching her hair, but she is getting used to it slowly. My new strategy is to distract her by giving her a few chocolate chips in a cup and turning on the television while I do her hair.  Eventually I'll cut out the chocolate chips, and then later I hope to cut out the television.

Basketball Love

I finally started playing basketball again. It's been a loooooong time.  I've had some pretty valid reasons for NOT playing over the past several years, in spite of how much I enjoy the sport.  For one thing, we've moved around a lot.  This makes owning a basketball hoop an issue.  Most of the homes we've lived in for the past 5 years haven't been conducive to either a portable or mounted hoop. Second, I've been busy having and caring for babies for the past 6 years. Third, I've had foot problems for the last 3 years, which made wearing anything but sandals quite painful.  Pretty compelling excuses if you ask me.

If I REALLY wanted to, I could have found ways to play, so I guess I didn't REALLY want to play. I just kind-of-wanted to play.  And let me be up front: for me, "play" means "shoot around by myself."  And I am quite content with that.  If I actually tried to play competitively, I would probably pull a muscle or sprain my ankle within minutes.  Eventually I hope to be in good enough shape that I could play competitively if I wanted, but I'm trying to be realistic here and start small.

Back to my story...
This week was particularly stressful for a few different reasons, and yesterday I got to the point where I sent Matt an email in the afternoon that said, "Just to let you know, I really need to get out this evening."  I rarely do this, and Matt knew it meant I was at the end of my rope.  Being the wonderful husband that he is, Matt actually left work EARLY to come home -even though I never expected it of him.  When he walked in the door he handed me his car keys and said (nicely), "See you later."  What a guy, what a treat! And in the nick of time. =)

I hadn't planned out where I was going or what I would do.  The last time this same thing happened I drove to Barnes and Noble and read parenting books for awhile.  Ridiculous, I know. (I should insert that I didn't do this to relax, it's just how desperate I felt at the moment!)  This time, I drove to the sporting good store and bought myself a women's basketball.

It was a great feeling.  Like I was awakening a part of me that had been comatose for a very long time. I came right back home, and was recharged enough to make it through the evening.  When the kids were in bed, I pulled out my basketball shoes from senior year -of high school, that is- and then fitted my new orthotics into the insoles.  I guess times have changed a bit for me. (Read: I'm getting old.)  Then I grabbed my ball and headed over to the neighborhood elementary school to spend some time shooting around on the 9 foot hoops.

What fun.  I even made a few baskets! I am planning to head back early tomorrow morning.  Looking forward to it.

Vinyl is "In"

This weekend Matt and I finished re-covering our dining room chairs for the third time in 6 years.  The first time we did it we chose a pretty pale yellow fabric that matched our dining room and dishes.  Soon after Caleb started using these chairs on a regular basis for meals and art projects, the chairs were looking pretty gross. Granted, I am not a freak about swift clean ups after meals. (Who has time to scrub stains on chairs when the end of meal time is followed by a rush to the sink to wash sticky hands before they touch everything in the house and then a poopy diaper to change before it leaks, then trying to get leftover food put away before it spoils or before the kids get back into it, then getting the kids started on the next appropriate activity so that mom can finish eating her own lunch, and then, and then...?) Even so, this yellow fabric might have had a label that said it was "stain absorbant." 

Somewhere along the lines I was introduced to the concept of plastic seat protectors, but my gut feeling was that these protectors couldn't withstand the abuse of my little boys. Why spend $8 per cover per chair when the chairs would still get stained? And I also tried assigning the boys to use just one or two chairs, rather than rotate through ALL of them, but somehow that plan just didn't work.

When the chairs got so dirty that I was embarrassed for even FAMILY members to see the chairs when they visited, I knew it was time for a new seat cover.  The second time I chose a clearance fabric that seemed sturdy and was multicolored, and I hoped a bit stain resistant too. The plan was to use it for about 4 years until Avery was at the point where she could mostly be trusted to keep her food on the table or in her mouth, not on the chair. Then I could pick another fabric to be a long term keeper.

Turns out that second fabric wasn't all I hoped it would be. The stains looked a bit nicer on the new fabric, but they were definitely still stained before long. Oh, and right after I put on the second fabric we ended up moving and changing color schemes in the kitchen.

So, magic fabric #3 for these chairs is VINYL.  I've had it with regular fabrics, and I hardly care that our kitchen feels somewhat like Pizza Hut with our dark red vinyl covered seats. It was a cheap and easy fix, and I *think* it will last us a little while.  We'll see...

So there you have our dining room chairs story.  Consider it a "Learn from that Nut's mistake" opportunity for those of you who still have children in highchairs =)

Yet Another Tough Call

And I'm not referring to any World Cup action.

For a couple years now, Caleb and Hayden have really been into the Toy Story movies.  Initially I had some reservations about letting the boys watch them because of some of the language (a few uses of "stupid", "moron", etc.), characters (Sid and Zurg), and content (bits of shooting, fighting).  But at one point we needed a movie to watch on an airplane ride that would hold the boys' attention for awhile... and I also figured that it's wrong and unrealistic to shelter the boys from those negative things forever.  And of course the movies are filled with many positive themes and actions oveall.  So we played Toy Story for the kids on the airplane.

And so it began. Actually, my memory of it all isn't too clear, but somewhere along the lines Hayden became fascinated with Buzz Lightyear.  I think it has a lot to do with the preschooler desire for power.  (Sidenote: it's interesting to me how there are things that Hayden is really drawn to, and Caleb -even when he was Hayden's age- could care less about some of those same things-- such as Buzz's power.) Anyway, you can imagine the boys' excitement upon learning that a NEW Toy Story movie was coming out.  For months, I've been planning to take the boys on a "date" to the movies to see Toy Story 3.

That day came today. It was the first time Caleb and Hayden had ever been to the movie theater. Ahead of time we discussed what a theater was like inside, as well as the concept of seeing movies in a theater versus television. I was really excited to have some special time with the boys doing something they were looking forward to so much. 

It wasn't too far into the movie before Caleb got sad and scared about what was happening in the movie. And shortly after that, Hayden was scared too, crawling on my lap, saying he wanted to go home.  At one point, both boys were crying saying how much they hated the movie.  And the movie did have many sad and scary parts, especially from the point of view of a preschool aged boy who sees his hero going through some terrible trials.

I really didn't know what to do. Should we stay or leave? We could have left the theater.  It wasn't like I was thinking, "We paid for these tickets, so we have to get the most out of it."  I decided we would stay, and I kept reassuring the boys that often sad parts are followed by happy parts, that a movie can be good and sad at the same time, etc. I guess I was hoping to teach the boys not to give up on something just because they feel sad or scared. And I did want them to see that their heroes were ok in the end.

But I think I made a mistake.  As it turned out, the toys were ok in the end, but the movie's ending was truly bittersweet.  In Caleb and Hayden's minds the outcome did not make up for the sad/scary parts in any way.  They really did not like the movie.  If I had known exactly how the movie ended, I probably would have left early with the kids.

Caleb kept saying over and over how much he disliked the movie. And his behavior for the rest of the day showed how much he was still wrestling with the things he had seen.  He was crabby. More directly, as he played throughout the day he kept incorporating elements from the movie that were troubling him.  For example, in the movie Buzz was betrayed and tied up with a sack put over his head.  And later in the day, Caleb was playing with a nylon laundry bag over his head pretending he was being restrained. He also talked a lot about precious things burning and being put in a landfill, like in the movie.

Of course, I couldn't have anticipated all of this ahead of time. Caleb does have a history of being very senstitive to sad things in movies, but I don't know that this means that he should avoid sad movies altogether.  I could have previewed the movie without the kids, but even if I had done that I don't know that I would have decided against letting the boys see it. Did I make the wrong decision to stay for the entire movie rather than leave halfway through? Maybe. I think they would have been traumatized either way, but maybe it would have been better to teach them that their mother respects their ability to choose what they watch rather than to teach them that happy things can accompany sad things in movies.

I will say that a positive outcome of all of this is that the boys and I have a ton of things to talk about together over the next few days... regarding the specific events in the movie- both good and bad, and the concept of choosing what we watch.

Kaua'i Getaway

Ok, I am not feeling particularly articulate or creative, but I've got a moment to blog, so I am forging ahead with this post, knowing full well it will probably end up sounding like it was written by a 3rd grader. 

Ahem, anyway... Last week was the week I had been anticipating for 8 months-- the week Matt and I journeyed to Kaua'i. It was an amazing trip! The first reason it was amazing was because of the setting. Kaua'i is a beautiful place- it really felt like paradise, as you can see from the pics below.

The second reason the vacation was amazing was because Matt and I went without the kids.  I don't even think I can articulate how much I needed a break from my three delightful-all-the-time angels ;) Of course I love them dearly, but I've been feeling worn out and emotionally spent for quite some time now.  So on this trip I enjoyed many luxuries:

-read a book (without pictures) on the airplane

-drink pop at dinner

-ride in the car without the pressure of keeping a certain toddler reasonably happy and quiet

-complete sentences and even *gasp* entire conversations without interruption
-eat dinner after 5:30pm

-go to the beach with only my towel in hand

-choose my bedtime without feeling like I should take into account how many times I expected to be woken up during the night

-get up and out of bed in the morning when I felt like it

The list could go on.  We were sure to pick a bunch of activities that we wouldn't have the chance to do (or at least not as easily) if we were vacationing with the kids.  Snorkeling, hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming in the ocean waves.  We were very active, and yet the days were still quite relaxing!

I think this may have been my most favorite trip ever, due partly to how much we just needed a break. It was so nice to have the time alone with Matt and spend time together like we did before the kids were born. Everything went so perfectly and smoothly. The kids did GREAT with Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Mike in San Jose, the travel went as planned, our hotel was amazing, etc, etc. I am so thankful for the chance to take this vacation with Matt and that it was to such a beautiful destination. And now Matt and I are trying to figure out when we can getaway like this again next!

Happiest Place on Earth

Last weekend we escaped to Disneyland for several days. What a great trip! We drove down on Saturday, went to Disneyland on Sunday, California Adventure on Monday, then drove home on Tuesday.  It was fun to do the trip with our friends who have two girls close in age to Caleb and Hayden.

Caleb did great branching out and trying some new things (since he is not naturally the adventurous type) including Space Mountain.  And he hated it.  In his words, "I never ever ever ever EVER [insert about 10 more 'evers' here] want to go on Space Mountain again!"  Caleb especially enjoyed riding some of the rides with his friend Jenny.  No surprise that George now has a friend named Jenny, whom Caleb refers to as "George's Jenny."

Hayden walked all day long both days, not once taking a break to sit in the stroller- what a trooper! One of my favorite parts of the trip was during the Finding Nemo ride when Hayden, referring to the fish and divers he saw in the water, exclaimed, "They're all REAL!"  And after this trip, Hayden is even more obsessed with Buzz Lightyear.

Avery enjoyed her third-child duty of tagging along for everything. Even though she was quite young to appreciate the Disney experience, she was old enough to sit next to me on most of the rides (rather than on my lap), which was quite nice. I'm sure she felt like a big kid.  The kicker was on the way home... Avery was pretty cranky and over-tired by Tuesday after we dragged her along without much respect for her napping routines all weekend.  We left Anaheim around 9:30am, and I was sure that Avery would soon be asleep in the car. WRONG! That kid stayed awake the entire way home until we were 10 minutes from home (at 5pm)... no exaggeration!  At that point we debated about whether to wake her up or let her keep sleeping-- this time we chose the latter, and it worked out for the best, because Avery stayed sleeping until 6am the next morning. Whew!

Below are a few highlights from the trip:

Top 10 Sounds In the House That Send Me Running

Between the 2 adults and 3 children in our home, the house is rarely quiet.  Since I don't REALLY have eyes in the back of my head, I've learned to listen carefully to what's going on in the house so I can monitor things.  Here are ten sounds that tell me I more than likely need to make a quick move (besides the obvious fighting/yelling/crying/"Moooooooom!").

10. Thud in the middle of the night
9. Scissors cutting
8. Refrigerator door opening
7. Phone dialing

6. Bathroom sink faucet turned on for more than 3 seconds

5. Laptop crashing to the floor
4. Chair being pushed from one end of the kitchen to the other
3. Toilet lid opening
2. Silence that lasts more than 3 seconds.
1. Giggling in the bathroom