Happy Campers

You may or may not remember last year's Trip to the Mountains.  We wanted to camp overnight at Big Basin, but we ended up packing up at 11pm and heading home with our screaming mad daughter and completely disappointed boys.  It was time to attempt real camping again (more than a mere trip to the mountains), so last weekend we headed to the same spot for a one night stay.

I should mention that we camped with different friends. You know, ones who didn't exactly know what they might be getting themselves into (since last year our dear friends ended up taking down our tent and mattresses for us in the morning when we ditched them in the middle of the night after waking them with our unhappy camper).

I am pleased to report that we had a wonderful time camping! As soon as we arrived, Hayden was off rolling around (yes, literally) in the dirt, Caleb was finding all the previous campers' lost toys in the creek, and Avery and our 5 year old friend, Mia, were doing puppet shows using sticks and leaves as puppets.  We hiked a short distance through the redwoods, cooked our dinner over the fire, and enjoyed s'mores. Mia (who is Japanese-Mexican-American) was excited to participate for the first time in the American s'mores tradition, although I think our sweet toothed American children were even more excited.

Before long the kids said they were ready for bed.  It wasn't very late, but they were looking forward to sleeping in their sleeping bags in the tent.  After a realllllllllllly long time with lots of giggling and silliness, and after Daddy singing "Beauty and the Beast," and after Mommy offering a quarter to the first child to fall asleep, the kids finally went to sleep.  Avery woke up a few times during the night, but I helped her to get comfortable and she went back to bed each time.  No screaming, no anger. What a difference a year makes!

Success! We came home the next day tired, happy, and with a few mosquito bites. Can't wait to do it again! Our next goal is to survive camping for two nights.

Sickening

Here I am, hoping that I have the self-control to make it through the day without eating too much.

There in Somalia are mothers my age hoping to make it through the day without any of their children dying of starvation.

So so sad.

Soul Sista, part I

Back again to blog. Over the past few years, in the midst of moving to two different states, I've thought a fair amount about friendship.  And I want to start off what will hopefully become a series of posts by telling about a girl named Lizzie.

In the fall of 2002, I did a social work internship at a residential treatment center for adolescent girls. A majority of these girls have suffered abuse or neglect in their short lives, and they are dealing with a myriad of issues. One day a new resident arrived and she was assigned to the social worker that I was shadowing for the week.  The social worker and I were the first to welcome 14 year old Lizzie to her new, temporary home, and I had the opportunity to show her to her room and spend a few minutes getting to know her.

Lizzie was quite personable with me and, as she unpacked her brown paper grocery bag with personal items, she was eager to show me some of her valuables.  She showed me her poetry in her notebook, and proudly read aloud from her book to demonstrate how well she could read.  Lizzie said she wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up.  And she said she was terrified of deer- which were common in her new surroundings, but something she'd never seen before, having lived in the city. She didn't tell me (though later I read it in her file) that she ended up in a residential placement after being neglected by her adoptive mother at a young age, that she had been living on the streets for most of the past two years, and that she got busted for propositioning an undercover officer for sex.  But Lizzie did tell me that she is scared of thunder and other loud noises because it reminds her of when she recently witnessed her boyfriend being shot in the face.

After about 15 minutes of chatting with Lizzie, she put her arm around me and said something to the effect of, "I really like you. Me and you- we are soul sista's!"

Soul Sisters?! It was hard to refrain from both laughing and crying the moment when Lizzie said that to me.  I mean, really, few things are more absurd than to think that this girl, who in actuality had nothing in common with me, was my soul sister.  And it broke my heart to think that it only took 15 minutes of me listening to her in a genuine and accepting way, for her to conclude that we had a special bond.  Yes, Lizzie had boundary issues, for sure.  But when was the last time someone simply sat and listened to Lizzie, without some kind of agenda?

Lizzie and I got off to a great start, and it was true that we did form a special bond that day.  Over the next few weeks, there were a few instances at the RTC where Lizzie was having a hard time and getting into trouble and I was the only person to whom she was willing to talk or listen.  Soon, though, my internship ended, and I was worried that Lizzie wasn't going to make it there, that she would need an even higher level of care.  Of course I don't know what ever happened to her after I left.  I do still think about Lizzie from time to time.  And since that day I've thought about what it means to be or have a soul sister in a new light.

Plunging into Pet Ownership

Okay, okay- thanks to Bethi and others for the encouragement to get my butt back into blogging mode.  Actually, it's too soon to say that I am in a "mode"- but hey, one post at a time, right?

I'm starting with the easy news:  We now have two pet kittens, Ladybug and Lightning [Bug].  They are sisters and litter-mates, about 3 months old.  I've been going back and forth on pets for quite sometime now (Remember Dogs on the Brain?), and figured I could continue oscillating forever on this issue. So when I saw the "2 for 1" deal at the humane society for the kitten adoption fee, I decided now was the time.  Matt graciously went along with it.  What can I say? He loves me.

Ladybug has got to be one of the sweetest, friendliest kittens ever.  Just the fact that she still wants to show her face in this house after almost a week of being terrorized loved on by the kids is a testament to that. She follows us around the house, is always happy to be cuddled, and loves to play. Lightning is much more reserved and likes her own space.  It hasn't helped that a few days ago she developed a cold.  She's been sneezing a lot and now has quite a bit of eye discharge (still clear). Hopefully we can avoid a trip to the vet.  It's been fun to watch the kittens play and wrestle together (when Lightning is feeling up to it), as well as take naps together, and groom each other.  Cuteness!

Logistically, bringing the kittens home has been pretty simple so far. The girls have used the litter box perfectly from the start, and have also taken to their scratching posts very nicely. They have not yet tried to play with or bite our hands or ankles, not even once.  At night we close them off in the kitchen, and we've never been bothered by them during the night.  We have removed one set of dried grasses that we had displayed, since it was an obvious cat magnet for chewing and playing, and we used some spray to keep the kittens away from our drapes.  They were attracted to the drapes swaying in the breeze and this was quickly becoming a problem, as the drapes already have a bunch of tiny claw-size holes in the bottom.

The toughest parts so far have been 1) teaching the kittens to stay off the kitchen table (they sure seem to be attracted by the smell of food) 2) keeping the kittens out of the kids rooms while the kids are falling asleep (since the kids insist on open doors) and 3) the added stress of having our family equilibrium disrupted by making such a big change.

Assuming you promise not to contact PETA after reading this post, I will expound a bit on point #3, so that when the time comes when YOU want to bring an animal into your house to join your small children, you can be fully warned! Basically, the past week has been stressful for me because I've been supervising a) my own kids, b) the kittens, and c) the kids interacting with the kittens.  "A" by itself is enough to drive me crazy much of the time, but "C" really takes the cake.  I've got a 2 year old that can't seem to recognize the difference between a kitten's belly and it's neck ("If your hands are touching the kitten's collar when you are carrying her, you are holding her in the wrong spot."), a 4 year old that is set on experimenting with the all different possible ways to play with and carry a cat (including several that you've probably never seen before), and a 6 year old that it so worried about the 2 year old and 4 year old with the kittens that at times he wishes we had never even brought the kittens home.  Meanwhile, I am worried about helping the kittens transition ok into their new surrounding. Ha! You can probably see why I've felt stressed throughout the week, and if Mama is stressed, the rest of the family tends to feel stressed.

So there's your glimpse into our experience with bringing home kittens.  Fun, but stressful.  Then again, that's how it almost always feels around here. =) Below are a few video clips from this week.  FYI, Avery is on the phone with Grampa & Gramma.

My Eyes

Are Fine! I still have 20/20 vision, and all the optometrist could recommend to me are "computer glasses."  I guess they are .5 strength (I don't even know if that's the proper term), compared to the mildest type of drugstore reading glasses, which are 1.0 strength.  The computer glasses are intended to do some of the work helping my eyes to focus so that my eyes don't have to work so hard to do it.  Unfortunately these require a prescription, and since we don't currently have a vision plan with our insurance, I need to decide if the cost of the glasses is worth it to me. Any thoughts or insights?

More Randomness

I'm assuming that my last post really left you craving to hear me talk about myself more (joking). But, alas, a few thoughts to share, in no particular order:

I recently realized that every time I toss something sizable into the recycling bin, I find myself thinking about what kind of an art project I could have done incorporating that recyclable. From time to time I go on kicks where I actually DO save the recyclables for future projects, yet somehow I typically end up with a pile of junk that clutters the house for awhile before going right back to the recycle bin. Hmmm.

Just finished reading The Good Daughter by Jasmin Darsnik.  The subtitle is "A Memoir of My Mother's Hidden Life." Great book!  I love memoirs. I happened to pick it up in Barnes & Noble, never having heard of it before, and it turns out the author currently lives in Charlottesville VA (where we used to live), and grew up in San Francisco (not far from us now).

Tomorrow I go for an eye exam, as I've been getting headaches after a short time on the computer or reading books, my eyes have been aching, and a few other eye-related complaints. I suppose I should do a follow up post to let you all know the outcome!

I am about to embark on a project that I've been wanting to do for quite some time: sew cloth napkins for Caleb & Hayden's classmates.  I'm hoping to have them done in time to give as gifts for Earth Day. I know more or less how to use my sewing machine, but I'm not very confident in it yet, particularly when it comes to troubleshooting.

For Lent I plan to fast in the afternoons.  I suppose it's not so much a fast as it is "giving up snacking,"  but the purpose is the same.  When I snack in the afternoons I am particularly prone to emotional eating in addition to trying to satisfy a bit of hunger (since my highest levels of stress usually occur that time of day- I think you SAHMs know what I'm talking about!).  I think it will be good for me to remember what it's like to be somewhat hungry for a few hours each day, plus a good time to focus on strength and coping through God, not food.

After spending an increasing amount of time scrubbing the bathrooms, and watching the boys scrub the bathrooms as well, I've decided that anybody with boys should really consider a Potty Shield (http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Boy-Potty-Shield.html) or something like it.  While I wouldn't want to completely embarass my kids concerning our bathroom situation, suffice it to say that I am perplexed as to how one's aim actually deteriorates with age.  (Oh wait, let's be clear, I'm NOT talking about Matt-- really! I guess there is hope that after a point things will improve with the boys.) I can't bring myself to actually buy a potty shield at this point, but I'm keeping the idea tucked away in case I get really desperate.  And now that I've shared this, you'll probably never want to come stay with us within the next 12 years. =(
 
And on a more positive, less disgusting note to try to help you recover from the previous paragraph, I will share with you something Avery said today.  She heard Caleb and Hayden doing something in another room and she said, "What's that noise?" (A question she asks all the time.) I responded, "Hmmm, what's that noise?" Avery answered, "It's my boys!"  Cute. She really loves them!

Another Glimpse

Once again, regular blogging has fallen by the wayside! I am making no New Year resolution to blog more, but here I am trying to start off the new year right, as far as blogging is concerned, anyway. [Hmm, that concerted effort didn't last very long, considering that I began drafting this post on 1/7/11, and now it is 2/25 and I'm just now getting around to finishing and posting...]

Here's a summary of things in the Eubanks household of late:

Caleb: I think it's safe to say that pretty much his whole world revolves around Star Wars now. I've already been interrupted in writing this post, as I was asked to google what the stormtroopers' ships look like.  (Thank you, Wookieepedia!) I don't expect you to believe me, but Caleb has only seen 10 minutes of one of the original Star Wars movies. And yet he knows more about Star Wars than I will ever care to know, thanks to Google searches and his loving Daddy who patiently answers every question fielded to him day after day. 

I gave Caleb a haircut the other day and he requested that I cut it like Luke Skywalker's.

Yesterday Caleb brought home a page of sentences he wrote at school, where the assignment was to write sentences using the words "is in a pot."   "A stormtrooper is in a pot.  Obi Wan is in a pot. IG-88 is in a pot. Yoda is in a pot. Palpatine (yes, he spelled it perfectly) is in a pot. All of the Sith Lords are in a pot."

And if you are wondering whatever happened to Caleb's imaginary friend Jorge... well, he's still around, but with a new name: Luke!

Hayden: Hayden is also interested in Star Wars, but he is fuzzier on the details compared to Caleb. He's mostly attracted to the lightsabers, guns, and the powerful bad guys.  (It's such a reminder that boys are wired differently than girls. Because I don't get his fascination. At all.)
Now that Hayden is in preschool he is being invited to more birthday parties, and I just love how he cherishes every invitation he receives.  He carries them everywhere- taking them to bed, bringing them along on errands, etc. It's fun to see him forming his own friendships that are independent of Caleb's friends and their sibilings.

Even though it's the middle of winter, Hayden's flip flops are still glued to his feet.  I was determined that he would live one week without them while we were in Buffalo, but even while we were there and the temperature was in the 20's he was still inquiring about his beloved sandals.  I have had to hide away Hayden's shorts to put an end to our daily battles discussions about dressing appropriately for the weather.  I just know it- someday Hayden is going to be one of those sweaty, stinky teenage boys that always wears shorts no matter how cold the temperatures.

Avery:  Avery is in a phase where she changes her outfits about five times each day.  She is still reluctant to let me put any accessories in her hair, but every once in awhile she says, "I want a horsey," which means she'd like a ponytail.  Dresses are a no-go.

Avery does a good job of keeping tabs on her brothers: "Ah-dee [Hayden]!! Come over here, Ah-dee!"  Recently when I was putting her to bed, she heard Hayden start crying and she said, "Ah-dee crying. Cayco [Caleb] did it." That sounds about right.

Probably the most momentous event in Avery's recent life is her decision to use the toilet.  I had no intention of potty training until mid-February, but in mid-January Avery decided she wanted to wear underwear.  She had one or two accidents in the first few days, and has done almost perfectly ever since.  Amazing! (Though I should mention that back in September she had a brief stint with demanding to wear underwear for a few weeks.  So she was well practiced with using the toilet prior to January when she decided she was serious about no more diapers. Last time she regressed, but this time it's the real deal.)

Matt:  Matt is always up to something cool, I think.  He's been working a lot in the garage to get it organized, building shelves, etc.  He just did a fantastic job adding a backsplash in our kitchen.  He is toying with the idea of selling his Civic GX (runs on natural gas) when gas prices hit a high this summer-- he'll probably make a nice profit on the car!  And Matt is preparing to teach a marketing class online for Houghton's PACE program.  (A quick backstory to the marketing class:  One night recently, Matt and I were talking about his experience as a business major at Houghton, comparing it to Darden, etc, etc.  I made the comment, "Maybe it's time to try to help out Houghton in regards to their business department." Then we turned out the lights and went to bed. The next morning, Matt checked his email first thing and he had a message from a Houghton professor asking if he'd be interested in teaching this class. Divine timing, it seems!)

Me:  The negative part of Avery's potty training is that I am forced to face my phobia of public restrooms. Really, I'm feeling sick just writing about it. I HATE public restrooms.  And I wouldn't mind passing this phobia on to my kids, quite frankly. I admit, I have been heard in a stall saying things like, "Are you sure you just can't just hold it? Wouldn't it be so much better to poop at home? Hold on to me-- do NOT touch the toilet.  This is dirty, yucky. Oh my gosh, we're going to die!" Just kidding about the last one. I haven't said that out loud yet. It's one thing to take a boy to pee in a public RR, but taking a girl is a million times worse.  We have a fold-up potty in our car that I will keep in there for years to come. Probably the best $20 I ever spent.


On a more positive note, I am spending more time reading in the evenings. I had really gotten away from it, (aside from parenting books, which I tend to pick up when I feel like a failure as a parent) for quite some time.  I would also like to get back to learning how to use my sewing machine. I learned a bit over the summer when my mom was visiting, but I've been kind of scared to try to use it on my own.  The problem is that I keep inventing projects that involve some sewing.

I think those are the highlights from our crew! I'll try to do another blog post while it's still 2011. ;)