Dogs on the Brain

The last few weeks I've found myself daydreaming more and more about getting a dog.  We don't have any pets right now, and they haven't really been on the radar for our family.  Matt and I have discussed the possibility of a dog when the kids are older, but not for right now.  Nonetheless, I keep wishing for a cuddly little puppy to relax with us in the house, to play with the kids outside, etc. etc.  I have spent way too much time lately on the computer researching dog types and adoption possibilities.

What is wrong with me? I am trying to psychoanalyze myself on this one.  It's only because things around the house are getting a *little* bit easier that I would even consider a dog. Is this some biological desire to nurture? Am I looking for a substitute "baby" since we expect we are done having kids? Is it to make up for having Caleb gone at school all day? Or do I have this masochistic need for a constant rain of stress in my life?! Am I such a drama queen that I always need some excitement? Or do I really just want a dog for "normal" reasons-- whatever those are?  And is this feeling going to pass in a few weeks or do I really have the dog bug?

Weirdo.

Kindergarten Begins!

Today was Caleb's first official day of kindergarten. He only went for an hour, but who's counting? He was pretty apprehensive ahead of time, but when we picked him up and we asked him how he felt about his time at school he exclaimed, "I LOVED it!"  He is looking forward to Monday.

Our Peaceful Day

Yesterday was such an enjoyable day that I felt it was blog-worthy.  We all woke up. We ate breakfast.  Then, for the next 3 HOURS Caleb and Hayden played together nicely with a couple of toy cars.  There was no arguing, no fighting, no need for me to step in as referee.   They did things together, they did things separately.  They disagreed at times, but they compromised, negotiated, used their kind words.  I was planning to do an errand during the morning, but the boys were doing so well that I didn't dare interrupt them. I seriously stayed out of the way that whole time to make sure that my presence didn't somehow cause things to change. Avery and I had a nice time playing and working together. Did I mention that the boys played perfectly together for 3 HOURS?!  Consecutive hours!

Eventually Hayden lost interest in the cars and came to join Avery and me as we colored together.  We had lunch. Avery then took a nap, and the boys split up to do their quiet times. Caleb actually fell asleep, so Hayden and I then had some alone time to read together-- a rare treat.

After nap, we went to the mall to do my errand and to get ice-cream. It was Caleb's last day of summer vacation before starting kindergarten, and earlier in the day he said he would like to celebrate by getting icecream and going to the Honda dealer.  So we went to Coldstone and all got cotton candy icecream, yum! 

The kids resumed play at home with the same toy cars.  We ate dinner. We played. Hayden and Avery went to bed, and since Caleb had napped he was ready to stay up a bit later. He and Matt went to the Honda dealer together.  When they returned I heard all the juicy details about the cars on the lot. 

What a great day! Is it a coincidence that this happened the day before Caleb started kindergarten? I don't know.  For the past few weeks things have been a bit rough. I've felt pulled in 3 directions almost all the time. It seems like developmentally there were huge gaps between the kids this summer, especially Caleb compared to the younger two.  Last week we had our worst grocery trip ever, and I had to end the trip early.  I've been feeling guilty for looking forward so much to school starting! Hopefully there are more days like yesterday in our near future.  It was really nice to have peace in our home for so much of the day. 

Donut Drama

Summertime.  No preschool.  It's the time of year when I get to take three young children grocery shopping on a regular basis.

I'm pretty sure most moms would agree that grocery shopping with young children is rather stressful. Most of the time my kids behave just fine, but even then I'm stressed because I feel like it's a ticking time bomb. If we are in the store too long, something negative is bound to happen. So I race through the store, hoping I actually grab everything on my list, plus everything I forgot to put on my list, before trouble hits.

My summertime strategy when I have a large grocery trip with three kids in tow is bribery with junk food.  (What? Don't your parenting books recommend that, too?) If all goes well, our last stop is the donut case to get three donuts.  One for Caleb, one for Hayden, and one for Avery and me to share.  I eat my 1/2 donut to celebrate my survival, not just my good behavior.

This week Caleb asked to carry the donut bag, rather than putting it in the cart.  When we got to the checkout Caleb and I both forgot about putting the donut bag on the conveyor belt. We got home, I saw the bag in Caleb's hand and said, "Uh-oh, Caleb, did we pay for those?"

Poor Caleb was extremely distraught. I tried to reassure him that it's ok that we made a mistake, those things happen, etc.  I said, "Next time we go to the store we can tell the cashier that we would like to pay for 3 donuts" and then I saw his face and quickly added, "Or we can go back to the store now and pay for them. What would you like to do?"  He wanted to hop right back in the car and go pay ASAP. 

I convinced Caleb to let me put away our groceries before returning to the store.  In the mean time I gave Hayden and Avery their donuts to keep them occupied while I put away the food.  Caleb was quite concerned about that so I assured him that the people at the grocery store don't care when you eat the food, they just care that you pay for the food you take.  Not good enough for Caleb.  He kept his donut in the bag, even though he was probably hungry seeing as it was snack time.

Next I loaded up the gang into the car and we headed right back to the store.  Caleb was too ashamed to carry the bag, so he wanted me to hold it.  We paid our $1.77 for the donuts and left.  Then Caleb ate his donut in the car with a clean conscience.  He was still disturbed by the whole incident and said he was upset with himself for forgetting to put the bag on the belt. 

It was quite the morning! I was happy to see that Caleb was so committed to doing the right thing. But it was hard to see him beating himself up unnecessarily. Everybody makes mistakes, and in this case nobody got hurt and it was easy to make things right. And I'm sure it will be a loooooong time before we forget to pay for donuts again!
 

A Glimpse

Here is an update on life for each of the kids lately:

Caleb: still plays with his imaginary friend George Jeorge David Romney all the time. He is constantly asking to go out in the front yard so he can look at the cars that drive past our house or park near us.  He also looks forward to talking to Bob, our next door neighbor, whenever he's in the front yard.  Caleb is especially into Hondas, Chevys, and GMCs currently.  He pays close attention to cars' headlights and tail lights-- so much that he can look at a Honda's or Toyota's headlights and know what type of tail lights it has.  Caleb is excited about starting kindergarten, but was sad to learn that his preschool friend Michael was assigned a different teacher. Caleb has an increased interest in spelling and reading. Yesterday I overheard him on the phone saying to Grandpa, "Yeah, I'm standing near a big box. And by 'big' I mean b-i-g. And by 'box' I mean b-o-x."

Hayden: After all of Caleb's pressure to have an imaginary friend, Hayden has decided that he has an imaginary friend named Hayden.  Hayden (the real one, that is) loves riding his two-wheeled bike to the park and around the neighborhood. He often talks about wanting to play ping-pong in Grandma and Grandpa's basement. He loves ping-pong! He also asks everyday to go to the park to play basketball. And he loves soccer and football and baseball. See the theme here? Bob, the aforementioned neighbor, has invited us to swim in his pool every weekend, and Hayden is making great progress with swimming.  The first time we went over Hayden just sat along the edge, but now he swims around by himself (with floaties) and even jumps in the pool letting his head go under the water.

Avery: has developed an interest in TV.  She's always asking to watch Nemo, "McQueen" (Cars movie), or "And Beyond" (Toy Story). Can you tell she's the third child? Caleb had never seen a real movie when he was her age, and Avery has seen these movies enough to ask for them by name.  Avery loves to rough house with Hayden, jumping and climbing on him.  She loves to hug and kiss both Hayden and Caleb. Avery also loves to color and read. I've started putting accessories in her hair more regularly. Initially she fought and cried as soon as I started touching her hair, but she is getting used to it slowly. My new strategy is to distract her by giving her a few chocolate chips in a cup and turning on the television while I do her hair.  Eventually I'll cut out the chocolate chips, and then later I hope to cut out the television.

Basketball Love

I finally started playing basketball again. It's been a loooooong time.  I've had some pretty valid reasons for NOT playing over the past several years, in spite of how much I enjoy the sport.  For one thing, we've moved around a lot.  This makes owning a basketball hoop an issue.  Most of the homes we've lived in for the past 5 years haven't been conducive to either a portable or mounted hoop. Second, I've been busy having and caring for babies for the past 6 years. Third, I've had foot problems for the last 3 years, which made wearing anything but sandals quite painful.  Pretty compelling excuses if you ask me.

If I REALLY wanted to, I could have found ways to play, so I guess I didn't REALLY want to play. I just kind-of-wanted to play.  And let me be up front: for me, "play" means "shoot around by myself."  And I am quite content with that.  If I actually tried to play competitively, I would probably pull a muscle or sprain my ankle within minutes.  Eventually I hope to be in good enough shape that I could play competitively if I wanted, but I'm trying to be realistic here and start small.

Back to my story...
This week was particularly stressful for a few different reasons, and yesterday I got to the point where I sent Matt an email in the afternoon that said, "Just to let you know, I really need to get out this evening."  I rarely do this, and Matt knew it meant I was at the end of my rope.  Being the wonderful husband that he is, Matt actually left work EARLY to come home -even though I never expected it of him.  When he walked in the door he handed me his car keys and said (nicely), "See you later."  What a guy, what a treat! And in the nick of time. =)

I hadn't planned out where I was going or what I would do.  The last time this same thing happened I drove to Barnes and Noble and read parenting books for awhile.  Ridiculous, I know. (I should insert that I didn't do this to relax, it's just how desperate I felt at the moment!)  This time, I drove to the sporting good store and bought myself a women's basketball.

It was a great feeling.  Like I was awakening a part of me that had been comatose for a very long time. I came right back home, and was recharged enough to make it through the evening.  When the kids were in bed, I pulled out my basketball shoes from senior year -of high school, that is- and then fitted my new orthotics into the insoles.  I guess times have changed a bit for me. (Read: I'm getting old.)  Then I grabbed my ball and headed over to the neighborhood elementary school to spend some time shooting around on the 9 foot hoops.

What fun.  I even made a few baskets! I am planning to head back early tomorrow morning.  Looking forward to it.

Vinyl is "In"

This weekend Matt and I finished re-covering our dining room chairs for the third time in 6 years.  The first time we did it we chose a pretty pale yellow fabric that matched our dining room and dishes.  Soon after Caleb started using these chairs on a regular basis for meals and art projects, the chairs were looking pretty gross. Granted, I am not a freak about swift clean ups after meals. (Who has time to scrub stains on chairs when the end of meal time is followed by a rush to the sink to wash sticky hands before they touch everything in the house and then a poopy diaper to change before it leaks, then trying to get leftover food put away before it spoils or before the kids get back into it, then getting the kids started on the next appropriate activity so that mom can finish eating her own lunch, and then, and then...?) Even so, this yellow fabric might have had a label that said it was "stain absorbant." 

Somewhere along the lines I was introduced to the concept of plastic seat protectors, but my gut feeling was that these protectors couldn't withstand the abuse of my little boys. Why spend $8 per cover per chair when the chairs would still get stained? And I also tried assigning the boys to use just one or two chairs, rather than rotate through ALL of them, but somehow that plan just didn't work.

When the chairs got so dirty that I was embarrassed for even FAMILY members to see the chairs when they visited, I knew it was time for a new seat cover.  The second time I chose a clearance fabric that seemed sturdy and was multicolored, and I hoped a bit stain resistant too. The plan was to use it for about 4 years until Avery was at the point where she could mostly be trusted to keep her food on the table or in her mouth, not on the chair. Then I could pick another fabric to be a long term keeper.

Turns out that second fabric wasn't all I hoped it would be. The stains looked a bit nicer on the new fabric, but they were definitely still stained before long. Oh, and right after I put on the second fabric we ended up moving and changing color schemes in the kitchen.

So, magic fabric #3 for these chairs is VINYL.  I've had it with regular fabrics, and I hardly care that our kitchen feels somewhat like Pizza Hut with our dark red vinyl covered seats. It was a cheap and easy fix, and I *think* it will last us a little while.  We'll see...

So there you have our dining room chairs story.  Consider it a "Learn from that Nut's mistake" opportunity for those of you who still have children in highchairs =)

Yet Another Tough Call

And I'm not referring to any World Cup action.

For a couple years now, Caleb and Hayden have really been into the Toy Story movies.  Initially I had some reservations about letting the boys watch them because of some of the language (a few uses of "stupid", "moron", etc.), characters (Sid and Zurg), and content (bits of shooting, fighting).  But at one point we needed a movie to watch on an airplane ride that would hold the boys' attention for awhile... and I also figured that it's wrong and unrealistic to shelter the boys from those negative things forever.  And of course the movies are filled with many positive themes and actions oveall.  So we played Toy Story for the kids on the airplane.

And so it began. Actually, my memory of it all isn't too clear, but somewhere along the lines Hayden became fascinated with Buzz Lightyear.  I think it has a lot to do with the preschooler desire for power.  (Sidenote: it's interesting to me how there are things that Hayden is really drawn to, and Caleb -even when he was Hayden's age- could care less about some of those same things-- such as Buzz's power.) Anyway, you can imagine the boys' excitement upon learning that a NEW Toy Story movie was coming out.  For months, I've been planning to take the boys on a "date" to the movies to see Toy Story 3.

That day came today. It was the first time Caleb and Hayden had ever been to the movie theater. Ahead of time we discussed what a theater was like inside, as well as the concept of seeing movies in a theater versus television. I was really excited to have some special time with the boys doing something they were looking forward to so much. 

It wasn't too far into the movie before Caleb got sad and scared about what was happening in the movie. And shortly after that, Hayden was scared too, crawling on my lap, saying he wanted to go home.  At one point, both boys were crying saying how much they hated the movie.  And the movie did have many sad and scary parts, especially from the point of view of a preschool aged boy who sees his hero going through some terrible trials.

I really didn't know what to do. Should we stay or leave? We could have left the theater.  It wasn't like I was thinking, "We paid for these tickets, so we have to get the most out of it."  I decided we would stay, and I kept reassuring the boys that often sad parts are followed by happy parts, that a movie can be good and sad at the same time, etc. I guess I was hoping to teach the boys not to give up on something just because they feel sad or scared. And I did want them to see that their heroes were ok in the end.

But I think I made a mistake.  As it turned out, the toys were ok in the end, but the movie's ending was truly bittersweet.  In Caleb and Hayden's minds the outcome did not make up for the sad/scary parts in any way.  They really did not like the movie.  If I had known exactly how the movie ended, I probably would have left early with the kids.

Caleb kept saying over and over how much he disliked the movie. And his behavior for the rest of the day showed how much he was still wrestling with the things he had seen.  He was crabby. More directly, as he played throughout the day he kept incorporating elements from the movie that were troubling him.  For example, in the movie Buzz was betrayed and tied up with a sack put over his head.  And later in the day, Caleb was playing with a nylon laundry bag over his head pretending he was being restrained. He also talked a lot about precious things burning and being put in a landfill, like in the movie.

Of course, I couldn't have anticipated all of this ahead of time. Caleb does have a history of being very senstitive to sad things in movies, but I don't know that this means that he should avoid sad movies altogether.  I could have previewed the movie without the kids, but even if I had done that I don't know that I would have decided against letting the boys see it. Did I make the wrong decision to stay for the entire movie rather than leave halfway through? Maybe. I think they would have been traumatized either way, but maybe it would have been better to teach them that their mother respects their ability to choose what they watch rather than to teach them that happy things can accompany sad things in movies.

I will say that a positive outcome of all of this is that the boys and I have a ton of things to talk about together over the next few days... regarding the specific events in the movie- both good and bad, and the concept of choosing what we watch.

Kaua'i Getaway

Ok, I am not feeling particularly articulate or creative, but I've got a moment to blog, so I am forging ahead with this post, knowing full well it will probably end up sounding like it was written by a 3rd grader. 

Ahem, anyway... Last week was the week I had been anticipating for 8 months-- the week Matt and I journeyed to Kaua'i. It was an amazing trip! The first reason it was amazing was because of the setting. Kaua'i is a beautiful place- it really felt like paradise, as you can see from the pics below.

The second reason the vacation was amazing was because Matt and I went without the kids.  I don't even think I can articulate how much I needed a break from my three delightful-all-the-time angels ;) Of course I love them dearly, but I've been feeling worn out and emotionally spent for quite some time now.  So on this trip I enjoyed many luxuries:

-read a book (without pictures) on the airplane

-drink pop at dinner

-ride in the car without the pressure of keeping a certain toddler reasonably happy and quiet

-complete sentences and even *gasp* entire conversations without interruption
-eat dinner after 5:30pm

-go to the beach with only my towel in hand

-choose my bedtime without feeling like I should take into account how many times I expected to be woken up during the night

-get up and out of bed in the morning when I felt like it

The list could go on.  We were sure to pick a bunch of activities that we wouldn't have the chance to do (or at least not as easily) if we were vacationing with the kids.  Snorkeling, hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming in the ocean waves.  We were very active, and yet the days were still quite relaxing!

I think this may have been my most favorite trip ever, due partly to how much we just needed a break. It was so nice to have the time alone with Matt and spend time together like we did before the kids were born. Everything went so perfectly and smoothly. The kids did GREAT with Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Mike in San Jose, the travel went as planned, our hotel was amazing, etc, etc. I am so thankful for the chance to take this vacation with Matt and that it was to such a beautiful destination. And now Matt and I are trying to figure out when we can getaway like this again next!

Happiest Place on Earth

Last weekend we escaped to Disneyland for several days. What a great trip! We drove down on Saturday, went to Disneyland on Sunday, California Adventure on Monday, then drove home on Tuesday.  It was fun to do the trip with our friends who have two girls close in age to Caleb and Hayden.

Caleb did great branching out and trying some new things (since he is not naturally the adventurous type) including Space Mountain.  And he hated it.  In his words, "I never ever ever ever EVER [insert about 10 more 'evers' here] want to go on Space Mountain again!"  Caleb especially enjoyed riding some of the rides with his friend Jenny.  No surprise that George now has a friend named Jenny, whom Caleb refers to as "George's Jenny."

Hayden walked all day long both days, not once taking a break to sit in the stroller- what a trooper! One of my favorite parts of the trip was during the Finding Nemo ride when Hayden, referring to the fish and divers he saw in the water, exclaimed, "They're all REAL!"  And after this trip, Hayden is even more obsessed with Buzz Lightyear.

Avery enjoyed her third-child duty of tagging along for everything. Even though she was quite young to appreciate the Disney experience, she was old enough to sit next to me on most of the rides (rather than on my lap), which was quite nice. I'm sure she felt like a big kid.  The kicker was on the way home... Avery was pretty cranky and over-tired by Tuesday after we dragged her along without much respect for her napping routines all weekend.  We left Anaheim around 9:30am, and I was sure that Avery would soon be asleep in the car. WRONG! That kid stayed awake the entire way home until we were 10 minutes from home (at 5pm)... no exaggeration!  At that point we debated about whether to wake her up or let her keep sleeping-- this time we chose the latter, and it worked out for the best, because Avery stayed sleeping until 6am the next morning. Whew!

Below are a few highlights from the trip:

Top 10 Sounds In the House That Send Me Running

Between the 2 adults and 3 children in our home, the house is rarely quiet.  Since I don't REALLY have eyes in the back of my head, I've learned to listen carefully to what's going on in the house so I can monitor things.  Here are ten sounds that tell me I more than likely need to make a quick move (besides the obvious fighting/yelling/crying/"Moooooooom!").

10. Thud in the middle of the night
9. Scissors cutting
8. Refrigerator door opening
7. Phone dialing

6. Bathroom sink faucet turned on for more than 3 seconds

5. Laptop crashing to the floor
4. Chair being pushed from one end of the kitchen to the other
3. Toilet lid opening
2. Silence that lasts more than 3 seconds.
1. Giggling in the bathroom

Trip to The Mountains

This weekend we attempted our first camping trip as a family of 5. We headed up to Big Basin to camp in the redwood forest with our friends, the Pozzi's. We all had a great time walking through the woods, throwing stones in the creek, cooking dinner over a fire, making s'mores, and playing in our new gigantic tent that sat under the gigantic redwoods.

Did you notice how I used the word "attempted" in my first sentence? Yeah, that was on purpose.  Everything was just ducky until 11pm.  That's when Avery woke up screaming. It was obvious to me from the sound of her cry and her body language that Avery was down right mad when she woke up found herself still in the sleeping bag in the tent.  She was not at all happy about her sleeping arrangements. (This was in spite of me laying her usual night time blanket in the sleeping bag, so that she would have a familiar scent and texture on her face.)  And she carried on and on. It was the first time since weaning that I wished I was still nursing! There was no reasoning with her, and distraction wasn't much of an option either. And I just "knew" that even if I managed to get Avery back to sleep, that she would soon wake up and start the whole cycle over.  So we packed up our stuff and headed home.

Soooooo disappointing! You know that terribly-sad-pouty-face that babies make before they burst into tears? That was the look Caleb had when Matt carried him into the car.  I felt so bad for the boys because they had REALLY been enjoying themselves. But I think we made the right decision. There wasn't much point to us all -and by "all" I mean our family plus everyone else within earshot of Avery's screaming- being miserable throughout the night.  We were home 45 minutes later, and Avery went to bed just fine in her crib.

As we drove home I remembered how when Matt and I were making plans for this trip with our friends, Julie and I felt strongly that our first trip should be 1) just for one night and 2) close to home.  There was a reason for that!! I was super glad we didn't plan 2 nights in Yosemite, like we originally discussed! Someday we will do Yosemite... but not this year, that's for sure.

All in all, it was still a fun trip.  But as Caleb reminds us, "We didn't go camping since we didn't stay the whole night. We just went to the mountains."  We'll have to try camping again another time.