A Puppy Dog Tale

Subtitle:  My BA in Psychology Really Is Good For Something

Over the past few months, Caleb has become increasingly afraid of dogs.  He didn't have a particularly bad experience or anything, but there are several things about encountering an unfamiliar dog that freaks out Caleb.  Recently his dislike for dogs escalated into an interfering-with-daily-life type of phobia.  He didn't want to play  in our backyard because he was worried the dog next door would jump over our 6 foot fence.  He didn't want to go to the playground because we might see a dog.  If we were at the playground and there was a dog within sight (even if it was 300 yards away), Caleb would climb to the top of the play structure and hide until the dog was gone.  Not cool. Caleb was bursting with anxiety, feeling uncomfortable even at his own home, and not able to relax and enjoy physical activity outdoors.

Caleb and I would talk through things rationally.  How many times has the dog jumped over the fence? Zero.  How many days have we lived here when the dog did NOT jump over the fence? A lot. What would happen if the dog did manage to jump over the fence? It might run around and try to lick me.  And what would happen if it licked you? I would get wet. And what happens if you get wet? I would have to dry off.  Caleb seemed to know that the things he disliked about dogs didn't really warrant the responses had had.  But the anxiety persisted.

It seemed that a bit of systematic desensitization was in order.  (This is the part where my psychology degree comes in, BTW.  Always a nice feeling to use some of that stuff I learned in college!) I put the word out among my friends that if anyone happened to get a small, young puppy, or knew of a dog with a newborn litter, to please let me know.  It was a long shot, but I just wanted Caleb to have the chance to be in the same room as a teeny tiny puppy without (hopefully) feeling threatened.  I also took Caleb to Petco, where there is a glassed in room for grooming.  The first time we went Caleb was shaking with fear, even as we stood outside the grooming area looking in.  The second time we went he was able to stand outside the grooming room and watch the dogs.  He was actually somewhat interested in it.

At Caleb's 5 year well check, I talked with the pediatrician about the dog phobia.  She and Caleb brainstormed together, and they came up with the idea that whenever Caleb went outside or to the park he would choose a towel to bring with him.  This way he had an easy way to dry himself if he happened to get licked. So now every time we go to the park, Caleb likes to bring a towel along.  (Fortunately he's not too rigid about it... if he forgets the towel, he is ok when I offer to use my shirt as a replacement if he needs to dry off!)

Our next step was to visit the humane society.  There were about 20 doggie "apartments" at the humane society with glass windows and doors that we could peak through.  Caleb did great looking at each of the dogs there.  The barking was still scary for him, but he could cope. After checking out the adoptable dogs in their apartments, we went outside and watched some dogs running around in the dog park. Again, we were at a distance and protected by a fence, but Caleb was calm and even enjoying our time there.

Caleb was really making progress here! He even went so far to say, "Maybe we can get a puppy.  And then when it gets bigger we can keep it if I like it, or if I don't like it we can give it to somebody else."  We aren't exactly ready to be a dog-owning family, but at least Caleb was opening up.  In the last week or two, Caleb has been a lot better about passing dogs when we go for bike rides (as long as they're leashed), and not nearly as paranoid on the playground when a dog is within a quarter mile radius.

The BIGGEST breakthrough came yesterday at the park.  A 7 year old girl was there with her 4 month old chihuahua.  The dog wasn't on a leash, as it was supposed to be at the park, but the girl was holding it tightly in her arms as she used the swings. Rather than running and hiding, Caleb slowly approached the girl and dog, and was asking her questions about the puppy.  I don't think he came any closer than 5 feet, which was kind of funny to watch.  Any time the girl moved and it looked like the dog MIGHT wiggle through her arms, Caleb ran a few feet back toward the safety of the tall play structure. But then eventually he would come closer again.

I am so proud of Caleb and quite happy about how much he's improved lately! Hopefully we can continue building on each of these steps.  I don't care if Caleb never likes dogs, I just want him to be able to go about his business without worrying about dogs. Keep up the good work, buddy!