Lately I have been missing the days when the boys were little (under 2) and parenting was relatively easy. I could trust my gut instinct when making decisions and feel confident that I was doing the right thing for the kids. The older the kids get, the harder I find good parenting to be. More and more I find myself in situations where I feel at a loss. Usually I can think of several things NOT to do, but that's not good enough. I wish my knee-jerk reactions were more trustworthy, but the fact is that if I do what comes natural all the time, I'll be teaching the kids things I don't really want them to learn. It's not easy to learn new habits and patterns of interaction (for myself), and it's not like I get the chance to retreat for a few weeks while I try to change myself before coming back to the kids and interacting with them. This is real time!
I know that in reality there are some things -probably a lot of things- I am doing right, but there are days when I feel like I'm just making one mistake after another. It's pretty discouraging, except that I have hope that God will fill in the gaps. Never have I more appreciated God's promise of wisdom to those who ask for it than now as a parent. This parenting thing can be H-A-R-D, but it's nice to know I'm not doing it alone! It's comforting to have hope that God can change me and it's comforting to know that God can work in my children in spite of me.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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5 comments:
Wait a minute. The first two years are EASY? Oh, geez. I'm in for a bumpy ride. I'll need some more of God's grace, too!!
Well, it's all relative... don't worry, Min =)
The challenges do get harder. I am realizing that too. It hasn't actually happened yet... but I am starting to realize that it WILL happen. I mean, changing diapers and deciding what they will eat and not just spit out is hard work (don't get me wrong), but it has a different quality to it than trying to sooth first love heart-break, working out modest clothes choices, or trying to explain why we need to be kind to people in our class/nursery/where ever. I'll be praying for you Robbie!
I hear you Robyn! My "mothering" of Meg has been challenged many times lately. You have to stop and think about what your reaction to the situation teaches them and what you really want them to learn. I'm finding that I have to let the little things go so I don't feel like I'm constantly nagging her to the point where she tunes me out. It's tough (and I think I would classify her as an "easy" child!)
I hear you! Seriously - we are right there too. A big challenge for us is friends for Connor. It takes things to a whole new level when they are picking their friends - not you! I just keep praying we are equipping them with the ability to make their own good choices. God is teaching me something new everyday about it lately!
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